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I just don’t know what to do with myself

Sing that and repeat.

I mean, most things are great. Family is wonderful, and generally, what I do with myself is exactly what I want to do. I could probably be socialising more, but that has its ups and downs, and I don’t expect it to be too active.

But the big professional question — well, it’s there, and it’s still there. New things aren’t cutting it … actually, new things are pathetic really, which I’m still finding hard to believe.

Damn, this probably isn’t the way to be thinking late on a Sunday night.

I don’t know if it’s about confidence, either professionaly or financially, or whether it’s about finding the time to fit more in, or just making the time because the things are important. Have to do something about reclaiming train time — as much as I enjoy reading, when I read so much I’m pouring through huge books, I know I could do more than just that.

But I have to run my own enterprise. Have to work around the finances if necessary. Part time work maybe — give me some time to arrange? Only if it works financially of course, but that’s a real option.

All I know is, I have to make it happen.

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